FRIDAY, 12/18: ‘Ann has died’ appeared in my text messages and I was stunned.
I had first learned of Ann and her story only one week earlier. It was the day after I had – in a terrible mood – written a small part of my personal story in a blog post called Long Story Short.
TUESDAY, 12/8: Of all the stories I could share or should share, I have no understanding as to why the one about my ex-husband is the one to surface. I finish ‘Long Story Short’ around midnight and publish it.
WEDNESDAY, 12/9: I run into my good friend, D at church. She asks if I would mind calling a friend of hers to share some words of encouragement. The friend, Ann is a 23 year old graduate from TAMU with a masters in counseling and now finds herself in a bit of a crisis. As D understood things, Ann and her boyfriend had suddenly and unexpectedly found themselves pregnant but now the guy was pressuring her to get an abortion. Apparently his communication was becoming both menacing and threatening. Calls and texts to her included messages about how sorry she would be should she choose to have the child. That having a baby would ruin his life. That she was going to get fat and ugly and didn’t she care about that?!
Apparently Ann would not consider an abortion and was struggling between a choice to keep the baby or make arrangements for adoption. Either way, she was quickly making plans to move out of town, back home to be with family. I assured D that of course, I would call Ann and offer whatever kind of support I could.
D and I brainstormed some temporary housing or couch surfing options so that Ann could steer clear of the lunatic as she made arrangements to move. Reflecting on my own story, I knew Ann stood in the midst of chaos and uncertainty; however, 10 years on the other side of that reality, I also knew she would be fine – even if at the moment she didn’t think so. Perhaps this was the reason I had been moved to write yesterday.
THURSDAY, 12/10: I leave a voice mail on her phone, “Hi, Ann. My name is Carla. D asked me to connect with you. I understand we share a similar story and I’m here to help or if you’d like to talk.”
FRIDAY, 12/11: Ann returns my call and I learn more of her story. Apparently, the lunatic insists the child is not his. That she had found out about the pregnancy quite unexpectedly when taken to the hospital for a seizure. As she described things, it seems the news had been delivered along the lines of, “Here’s XYZ information about your seizure with ABC stats about your overall health and oh, PS you’re pregnant!” That’s apparently when the boyfriend left and became the Lunatic.
She has lots of personal questions for me. I answer as openly and honestly as I can wanting to offer assurance. Mostly I want to impart that surrounded by a support system of family and friends, she and the baby would be just fine. It would all work out somehow.
I also share that when the time comes she can prepare and easily arrange to file her own court documents for terminating the lunatic’s parental rights, as I had. She had additional legal questions so I offer to put her in touch with my friend, Lawyer Guy. She apparently connects with Lawyer Guy later that day because she calls me back with many thanks and tells me about their visit.
We agree to meet over lunch on Monday and I insist that she call me if she needs anything over the weekend. “My phone will be with me at all times. The important thing is that you keep safe,” I remind her.
That evening MrGEE and I attend our annual Sunday School Christmas party and I have a chance to visit with a badge wearing friend, Officer Mark. “I might need a cop, Mark,” and I share with him what little I knew of the situation. Mark walks me through the quick and easy way to file a report to the CCPD over the phone and explains what would then take place. I felt a little better about it and at the very least, he was on alert should I really need a cop.
D is at the party too and she overhears another party goer ask why I was carrying around my phone. I explain that D and I were on-call which opens up an opportunity to solicit prayers for Ann as we share some of her story.
MONDAY, 12/14: Ann and I meet for lunch at Chili’s. She’s a little pixie shaped blonde in a warm-up jacket and flip flops. She tells me about her weekend and more of her story. Up until then, the lunatic had been calling or texting 30 times a day. She thinks he’s backing off a bit but still plans a trip to the courthouse to file for either a protective or restraining order. Neither of us knows the difference, so I offer to send an email to my sister-in-law, a lawyer who works at the courthouse, adding questions about the timing for filing such an order and any jurisdiction issues related to her moving out of the county.
I ask Ann again about why she’s remaining in town if she believes she’s in danger. She explains she’s a volunteer with an organization that serves at-risk kids and feels an obligation to keep her commitment to them through the next week. For the second time since we’ve met, I assure her that no one would begrudge her skipping out early on any volunteer commitment if she felt her personal safety were in jeopardy. I know D has told her the same thing and think if it were me, I’d have already been gone. I can understand, however, Ann’s state of confusion, fear, panic and stress. I don’t want to push too hard.
We leave each other with an awkward goodbye. Me, assuring her that I’ll call as soon as I hear from my sister-in-law and her, promising to keep me in the loop on where she is and how she’s doing.
That evening she calls again with many thanks for the Lawyer Guy has sent her an email with lots of information answering many questions and more. She asks for my email wanting to send a picture of the sonogram and a note of thanks. D calls to report that she’s found a bag from Ann on her porch with a lovely Christmas card to her family and gifts for the kids.
TUESDAY, 12/15: Ann calls again to report that she’s doing well. She’s found many boxes to pack-up her apartment but jokes that folks might think she’s an alcoholic since most of them came from a liquor store. She reminds me to send her my email for she wants to keep in touch. She adds that she really, really appreciates all my help. After we hang up she sends over a text, “Here’s my email.” and “Sleep tight.”
WEDNESDAY, 12/16: No word from Ann.
THURSDAY, 12/17: No word from Ann.
FRIDAY, 12/18: I speak with D asking if she’s heard from Ann. She reports that she’d driven past her apartment and saw that her car was in the same spot. She wondered if she should call the police to which I reply, “No. I’m sure everything’s fine. I’ll send her a text.” I get busy at work and don’t.
A bit later, I receive D’s text: Ann has died. And I’m stunned. I understand her mother was unable to reach her that morning and contacted the boyfriend. The police were called to gain entrance to her apartment where she was found unable to move. She was then rushed to the hospital where she died. Apparently, there was a medical complication – maybe another seizure. I definitely do not know all the details.
All I know is I learned of her plight, offered some assistance and she was gone all within a week.
PS: I have spoken with the police to share what little I know. Since our first meeting, I’ve learned a sliver or two more about Ann’s life which raises many more questions for which there are no answers. I believe none of us knows the whole story. I do believe, however, that she is in a much better place – free at last.
PSS: Ann is not her real name.